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Graničarski chat - Naša iskustva, svakodnevna podrška i pomoć u rešavanju problema


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#1 Hyperdrive

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Posted 20 March 2018 - 00:38

Valjda je jasno čemu služi ova tema, zar ne? A ima nas dosta, zastrašujuće mnogo, dolazimo u velikom broju, pa...što da ne četujemo?

Tema je rađena po uzoru na "Vaša iskustva sa psihozom" sa drugog podforuma.

#2 Primal Pain

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Posted 20 March 2018 - 17:26

Hey Hyp. Graničar dva se javlja :wub: :wub: :wub:  

Danas sam dobro. Pomogle mi molitve. (apoptosis stil) A tri dana pre toga sam bila uznemirena samo tako, i danas sam se, hvala Bogu, smirila i fokusirala na prioritete.

#3 Hyperdrive

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Posted 20 March 2018 - 19:09

Ja sam juče imala malecki meltdown - bila sam mnogo tužna, jer se deset godina starija drugarica uvredila što hoću da pišem priču o istom liku o kome ona piše. I posle nisam prihvatala izvinjenje, sve dok nas treća drugarica, koja nije odlepila kao nas dve sa hormonskim deprama, nije smirila. A u četvrtak sam bila tužna što sam, citiram, "prosečna". LOLWUT? Ako ništa drugo, oba puta sam bila mirna, pre deset godina bih vrištala i lomila stvari, udarala glavom o zid i tako to.

Danas je sa mentalne strane sve kako treba. :) No, mama svaki dan ima po jedan šekspirski meltdown. Iste smo, a ona odbija to da prizna...

#4 Primal Pain

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Posted 20 March 2018 - 20:58

Ti prosečna? No way.

#5 borderija

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Posted 21 March 2018 - 08:03

Navraticu ovdje....iako nisam uvjerena da imam bas ovu dijagnozu....u nekim dijelovima se prepoznajem....u nekima bas i ne

#6 Hyperdrive

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Posted 21 March 2018 - 08:07

View Postborderija, on 21 March 2018 - 08:03 , said:

Navraticu ovdje....iako nisam uvjerena da imam bas ovu dijagnozu....u nekim dijelovima se prepoznajem....u nekima bas i ne

Pričaj. :) Slušamo.

#7 borderija

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Posted 21 March 2018 - 08:09

Ocu....ali neki drugi put...ovdje kod mene je jako jugo....ubilo me ...nemam volje za nista

#8 Hyperdrive

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Posted 21 March 2018 - 08:11

Ovde kod mene sneg, pada kao lud. Pustiću kucu da se malo istrči po smetovima. :)

#9 CR7

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Posted 21 March 2018 - 20:54

Evo jos jednog granicara.Lose jako u poslednje vreme.Nije da se  zalim,ali kad je vec postavljen topic,hajde da se otvorim.U poslednje vreme sam nervozan,jako impulsivan.Ne znam da li vreme utice.Nikad da diplomiram na fdaxu,radim posao koji mi nije u struci..nista lepo.

#10 CR7

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Posted 21 March 2018 - 20:56

I slusam hiper emotivnu muziku u poslenje vreme..Miso Kovac i Doris Drragovic..jel to normalno ? :)

#11 GraničniHisterDistimić

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Posted 24 March 2018 - 08:18

Samo da se javim.Horor priče ostavljam za sebe i samo sebe .Ponašam se normalno.Ne brinem .Nemam volje.
Imam savjet za sve  -jedite AD ako hoćete da živite

#12 Hyperdrive

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Posted 24 March 2018 - 13:37

Što se tiče muzike, kod mene ide u suprotnom smeru. Mora da bude temperamentno i veselo.

Noćas sam se opet štrecnula ni zbog čega. A danas idem da ispravim kardinalnu grešku načinjenu pre više od četiri godine.

#13 Cyanide

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Posted 24 March 2018 - 19:24

Eo jos jednog nesrecnika.
Zarobljena u svom svetu.
Zarobljena u svom telu.
Zarobljena na tudjoj planeti sa strancima oko sebe.
Zarobljena.

Eto moje zivotne price.


Ima molitva neka za smrt? Religija strucnjaci javite se. XD

#14 Hyperdrive

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Posted 28 March 2018 - 19:07

Imala sam tipičan graničarski pad posle doručka, mama je mnogo mračila.

Legla sam i spavala još šest sati, bez razloga.

Ustala, imala meltdown (ali tihi), jer sam sanjala da će mi ona Grkinja ove sedmice smestiti neku zvrčku, ako dobijem više nagrada za pisanje. Mama me je, gle ironije, smirila, onda sam videla da sam već dobila dve. Prošle godine sam imala ukupno dve, tako da je ovo dooobar početak.

Posle je bilo još malo mračenja, te DRAMA oko toga koliko su velike krtole krompira koje sam donela i 'BENA TEORIJA ZAVERE o tome kako je jogurt, sa rokom trajanja do 14. aprila, SIGURNO loš, čim je na sniženju. Kad sam rekla da je i krompir bio na sniženju, to je već bilo nešto na čemu bi David Icke pozavideo. JBT.

No, posle nas je zvala porodična prijateljica koja je bukvalno najveći car i rekla da možemo da uzmemo kredit preko Poštanske štedionice. Ako ovo ne smiri furiju, ništa neće.

Strašno je kad živiš sa osobom koja ima istu patologiju kao i ti, ali ne želi da radi na sebi. I kasno je, u tim godinama. Tetka reče da je bila još gora sa dvadeset, trideset. Bokte...ali BOKTE.

#15 Hyperdrive

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Posted 12 April 2018 - 14:37

Ima li još neko OGROMNO samopouzdanje koje padne jednom u 300 godina, gotovo uvek zbog teške kritike na račun životnog stila i odluka?

Beše još jedan meltdown, prvog aprila. Videli ste ga, onda kad sam rekla da bih da svi crknu, pa da leševima crtam brkove.

#16 Riot

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Posted 12 April 2018 - 15:00

View PostHyperdrive, on 12 April 2018 - 14:37 , said:

Ima li još neko OGROMNO samopouzdanje koje padne jednom u 300 godina, gotovo uvek zbog teške kritike na račun život

Posudi ga meni malo.

#17 Riot

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Posted 12 April 2018 - 15:02

Mnogi kazu da su granicari navodno  harizmaticni, fatalni, da imaju tu neku energiju oko sebe. Ima i na netu boga oca clanaka za to. Navodno su opasni, i daju obilje saveta kako se ''odbraniti'' i ne biti pod prevelikim uticajem. Kako vi to objasnjavate? Ili je generalizacija?


ps: neam granicni al mi je zanimljiva tematika.

#18 Izolofalicna

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Posted 12 April 2018 - 16:35

View PostHyperdrive, on 12 April 2018 - 14:37 , said:

Ima li još neko OGROMNO samopouzdanje koje padne jednom u 300 godina, gotovo uvek zbog teške kritike na račun životnog stila i odluka?

To se desava kada se trazi potvrda bilo koja od bilo koga pa ona bude osujecena negativnim komentarima (a ocekivao se hvalospev) .
Mislim da je bazicna sigurnost dobra odbrana od toga i opet neka ravnoteza jer nismo savrseni i necemo bit' pa nas nista ne bi trebalo ni ispomerati na taj nacin.
Maybe, kada se prestane traziti nestanu i padovi.
I naravno, to ne znaci da bismo trebali da sebe smatramo i dalje nekim savrsenim bicima i ne obaziremo se na kritike koje umeju biti i tek kako dobronamerne.

View PostRiot, on 12 April 2018 - 15:02 , said:

Mnogi kazu da su granicari navodno  harizmaticni, fatalni, da imaju tu neku energiju oko sebe. Ima i na netu boga oca clanaka za to. Navodno su opasni, i daju obilje saveta kako se ''odbraniti'' i ne biti pod prevelikim uticajem. Kako vi to objasnjavate? Ili je generalizacija?


ps: neam granicni al mi je zanimljiva tematika.

Ne znam kako bih objasnila jer ne volim generalizacije i jer toliko razlicitih granicara poznajem da mi je smesno da ih sve svrstam u isti kos ali postoji ta neka grupa fatalnih osoba koje me ispomeraju snagom svog ega i stvarno gledam da se zastitim od njih jer imaju prejak uticaj i vrsnu inteligenciju pa dobijem utisak kako mi uhodaju u mozak samo tako, da ne primetim, a vec sam njihova igrackica. I ne sad da oni to nesto svesno rade vec zrace energijom, snagom, sarmom i vec pomenutom inteligencijom. A onako, ispod povrsine, stalno je prisutan strah da ih ne napustis, zaista. I jako, jako, jako je tesko izaci na kraj jer su ti u isto vreme najgori neprijatelji i najveci prijatelji koje ces imati u zivotu. Potpisujem.

#19 VanjaCro

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Posted 12 April 2018 - 16:45

za mene je granicni bio totalna misterija koju tek unazad godinu dana pocinjem da shvacam premda mislim da nisam nikada susreo takvu osobu
isto tako postoje granicari koji su act out i act in, razlika je u tome sto act in drze sve u sebi i nema izljeva van ali se isto osjecaju
evo ovaj lik dosta dobro skida neke stvari :



#20 Hyperdrive

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Posted 12 April 2018 - 18:15

Vanja, ja sam graničarka.

A taj video je glupost. Ova dva komentara to super objašnjavaju.

Quote

Equating it to 'female anti-social personality disorder' is so wrong. I think it's a very specific manifestation and separate from other Cluster Bs. I'm a guy with BPD and feel it is the result of C-PTSD in an empathic, sensitive child causing dysregulation and in my case, severe neurosis. I see ASPD as a total lack of meaningful affectionate emotion... I have felt unconditional love and generally love people... Until I get paranoid and think they've slighted me...

Quote

He's not very well versed on this topic .. fair enough, everyone's got their weak spots. -- I Anyway, for anyone interested (I'm a licensed therapist btw, and love working with borderlines), I really dislike the characterization of BPD as antisocial, also I think he has problems thinking about the disorder because it really reveals a flaw in his Big 5 construct and honestly requires a redefinition of what he considers to make up "personality."

First, philosophically, one could find it useful to oversimplify the disorder and say that it's a disconnection between the 2 hemispheres in a way that puts them against each other rather than acting cooperatively. So the emotional / pattern recognition side ALWAYS wins in terms of their behavior, but the verbal / intellectual side is disconnected and has difficulty passing information to the pattern recognition side. So they continue to see previous patterns and don't learn new pattern recognition from new experiences. AAAND, guess what else uses the logical side of the brain? Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. AAAAND what are borderlines weak at? Connecting cognition and behavior. -- Therapists "blame" borderlines, but really they're trying to effect change RIGHT where the borderlin CAN"T function, and don't work toward the person's strengths. No wonder tehir frustrating. We get detracted because WE tend to enjoy strong verbal skills and believe that's how to help people .. only in borderlines, that can actually make things worse. Back to that in a minute.

So there are several effective therapeutic interventions for borderline (BPD), and I don't consider Dialectal Behavior Therapy (DBT) to really be one of them. DBT is wonderful for any disorder that involves self-injury or suicidality, but only as a means of establishing safety for the person .. DBTs creator Marsha Linehan's own studies show that while it reduces self-destructive behaviors, it doesn't do anything to help the self-reported emotional condition of the person .. and what's a pretty crappy intervention if the source of the behavior is misery and you're not doing anything to help that misery.

Anyone wanting to have a solid academic look at the subject should start with the work done by Russell Meares from Sidney University .. his BPD books can be found on amazon and will hit you upside the head with an entirely different paradigm for both human cognition as well as philosophy of mind .. and it also has several sets of therapeutic interventions that are amazing in all kinds of circumstances.

Quick practical advice for someone working / living with BPD people -- as OFTEN as possible, bypass the logical processing and communicate directly with the pattern recognition. It's an ENTIRELY different way to converse with clients, and it can be frustrating, but it's necessary. For example, if I say "I think you can do that" .. the typical person can send that entire statement straight to their pattern / emotional process .. but the borderline person ends up breaking it into separate emotional / pattern recognition processes. If I'm borderline reacting to "I think you can do that" then I send the first part over "I think" and I have to process how I feel about you right now, I have to process whether your thoughts might be bias or manipulative, I have to try to process whether I need to preemptively glorify or defend myself from whatever comes next, and I haven't even heard the rest of the sentence yet. Then I have to send over the word "you" - how do I feel about myself right now, how do you feel about me, what's our relationship like right now, what does that mean about what you're saying?? -- Then I process "can do .." Can I? Most of my life is failure, there's just no hope .. etc etc..

IT"S DAMN EXHAUSTING being BPD! And cognitive therapies just wear them the heck out.  -- So practical suggestion: contain events or items you're going to comment on so you can help the BPD person focus on ONLY the essentials. AVOID pronouns .. heh heh .. and not just "zhe" ones :P I mean ANY. DO say: "it can be done." There's no distracting information in that statement .. it's SAFE. See what I mean?

So you DON"T say "I think you can do that" ..  because that may be what my mom always said when she made fun of me for screwing up on thinks that I really couldn't do .. when they think you're amazing and compliment how brilliant you are, not only avoid taking it personally, but don't let THEM make it personal .. say something like "there are a lot of people who can be trusted." (it's much easier to work from idealization and bring yourself down than whent hey demonize you .. in which case, duck and cover. ;) )

We may want to be saviors and white knights, but if you really want to help them, it's not about giving them a good experience of you, it's about just being a darn plumber who gets shit done .. and generalizing that experience for them -- there are a lot of people who could be good plumbers in the world.

Postoje graničari koje tripuju ovo iz prvog citata. Kameleonlčići - tepam im, jer su sve koje sam upoznala bili tinejdžeri i osobe koje ne bi još mogle da budu poslanici. Prilagođavaju se okolini, jer misle da tako neće biti odbačene. Ja sam bila ono suprotno - da me prihvate onakvu kakva sam i šlus. Ovaj tip volim da posmatram u popcorn.gif fazonu, jer su ti tripovi ponekad jednostavno bizarni, a ne može čovek ništa da im dokaže. Moraju sami da se pogledaju u ogledalo i vide majmuna.

Plus, ta ideja da smo svi žene je komedija. Kod muškaraca je samo bes prihvatljiviji.

I, na kraju, u sredinama poput naše, vrlo je moguće da neko ima neki od onih drugih devet poremećaja.


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